To give a quick update on me, I'm now 15 months into this journey and maintaining my weight loss. I've kept up my gym routine of 4-5 days a week and got pretty lax on my eating over the holidays. I'm currently about 2 weeks in to trying to eat on track and work hard in the gym. Not because I feel that I have more weight to lose, but because I am ready to see more definition and progress.
Yesterday I was sitting in the gym, working my Chest and Triceps and while looking in the mirror, felt the overwhelming need to come here and write. For lack of a better phrase, I'm here to tell you that "struggle" we all talk about, it is indeed, "real". We all have a different one, and so many of us have the same. My posts on Facebook usually portray the positive on my journey to lose weight and for the most part, that is true and honest. But please know there are hard days inbetween. Days where I deep down KNOW that nothing has changed about my body that I'm so proud of, and have worked so hard for, but that day, (yesterday in this case), I just feel fat. No, no, no, let's not go on the road here of thinking I see myself back where I started, close to 200 pounds. But flabby and gross for MY BODY, RIGHT THIS MOMENT.
If you have complete confidence in your body, own it, love it, keep that confidence. But if you're looking to me for inspiration, or motivation, know that I'm a real person with real thoughts just like yours. I have good days where I'm so incredibly proud of this journey, and those days far out weigh the bad. But the bad days are there too, the body shaming never 100% goes away, nor does the guilt that I associate with food. But it's a battle I'm constantly fighting, enjoying the good days and moving on with the bad. I'm just here to tell you to give yourself a break. Work hard for the results you want and smile when you've done that. Don't look to all of the fitness Instagram accounts you may follow and think they've got it all figured out, they struggle too, maybe not about the same things as me, or you, but they do.
YOU are worth this journey. YOU are worth the time and effort. Whatever your goals may be, push for them, enjoy the hard work and relish the days or moments, that you feel like you've got it figured out.
